Mom Pretty Jealous Of All The Dick Teenage Daughter Going To Pull With Those Highlights

NEW GLARUS, WI—Tsking her tongue with envy as she put the finishing touches on her teen’s at-home hairstyling, local mom Sandra Bennett told reporters Friday that she was pretty jealous of all the dick her daughter was going to pull with those highlights. “Honestly, I’m happy knowing what these dirty blond…

Read more…

The Onion 

Related Posts

Biden Holds Critical Press Conference

In the wake of calls for him to step down from the presidential race following a poor debate performance and concerns about his mental ability to fulfill…

Pete Buttigieg Trapped Beneath Derailed Model Train

WASHINGTON—Trapped beneath nearly five pounds of aluminum and plastic, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg was reportedly unable to move Thursday after his body was pinned beneath a…

Some Grocery Stores Begin Selling Bullets In Vending Machines

A vending company called American Rounds has installed its machines in a handful of supermarkets in Oklahoma, Alabama, and Texas, allowing customers to buy ammo while picking…

Eli Lilly Unveils Insulin That Doesn’t Work On Poor People

Read more… The Onion 

Jeffrey Epstein Spotted Dancing To ‘Anti-Hero’ In Eras Tour VIP Tent

Read more… The Onion 

Woman Frantically Cleaning Up Entire City Before Parents Visit

CHICAGO—Racing to make everything tidy ahead of the quickly approaching visit, local woman Ellen Crandall was frantically cleaning up the entire city before her parents came into…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *