The Burgeoning Collection of Unnecessary Screenshots on Your Phone

Label of a clinically proven sleep-enhancing powder that will help you fall asleep and stay asleep. At nights when you can’t sleep, you try to find the screenshot that is two thousand photos deep, so that you can take another screenshot of it, then order it in the morning.

Twitter profiles you were not ready to follow at the time you took the screenshots, and are still waiting for the right time to follow them. Meantime, you’re planning to peruse their personal websites.

Solar eclipse pathways for the next twenty years, so that you can prepare ahead.

Boarding passes in case your QR code on your app won’t work at the time of boarding.

The address of your new physical therapist, so that you can put it in your navigation system when you go. By the time you go, you’re lucky to remember his name and find his phone number to call for directions.

Calls for submissions from literary journals. When you finally remember to look them up, their submission windows have closed. You reassure yourself that they are almost always closed anyway.

Suggestions on how to sign your name if it starts with the letter A. You still sign your name the old way, and will never change it. But you give yourself an A for effort.

Wine labels you looked up after drinking them at a fancy restaurant, so that you can buy them later. You keep going to Trader Joe’s instead.

Test results from your doctor in MyChart that you want to discuss with your doctor friend.

Virtual events you want to register for and attend. However, now you’ve waited too long, and the event passed. You still keep the screenshot, because you want to learn about the panel members.

Superfood brands for your senior dog to help his joints. Your dog is still limping a little, and each step is a reminder that you need to order it.

Important Duolingo phrases you plan to use during your upcoming trip.

Authentication codes that expired ten minutes after you took screenshots of them.

A tooth-whitening toothpaste that will take away years of discoloration. It is better, quicker, and less expensive than the one your dentist recommended. You plan on showing it to your dentist at your next appointment. But at your next cleaning you forget and, instead, let them do the latest instant laser whitening treatment for five hundred dollars.

First paragraphs of movie reviews to remind you of films you’ll never watch.

Quotes from authors whose books you want to read, but you never will.

Name of an art gallery you googled after you drove by an exhibit on unusual materials and methods, but by the time you’ll come across the screenshot again, the exhibition will have closed. So did the gallery.

Best collagen dream night cream. It will erase years of wrinkles. You’ll never know.

A haircut you want to show your hairdresser, but in the end you’ll go with her suggestion. Not to mention you never found the photo to show her. But the cut would have looked really cute on you. She agrees. Next time, she says.

Your favorite theater’s upcoming events.

Image of a small bag of flower seeds, because spring is just around the corner, and you’ll be going to the nursery soon to bring new life to that barren flower bed in your backyard. The flower seeds keep getting buried deeper and deeper—not in fertile soil, but under other, equally important screenshots that will also never grow into anything.

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