Times I Have Suspected My Therapist Might Be a Baby

I’m sensing a lot of distress. Have you tried wailing inconsolably until someone comes to fix it?
Tell me a little bit more about your professional life. Do you work as a therapist? No? There’s other kinds of jobs too? Interesting.
How would you describe your relationship with your Mama?
I just want to open this session by saying how happy I am to see you. When you left after last session, I thought for sure that you had ceased to exist permanently, but once again, here you are.
Dune: Part 2? No, I missed it, I’m afraid. I mostly like to watch the spinning objects that hang above my bed. Have you seen that one?
It’s normal to feel grief when someone passes out of your life. Recently, my Dada placed his hands between his face and mine. That was one of the most difficult two to three seconds of my life. But it did get better.
I just want to quickly check in, because I’m sensing a lot of anxiety around this topic. Are those your emotions or mine? I get confused about that sometimes.
Have you tried wailing louder? I’ve found that can make a difference sometimes.
Have you tried burping? What about being burped?
Let’s talk a little bit more about your job. Is there a special kind of car that you get to drive? What sound does it make?
Chappell Roan? No, I haven’t heard of her. I’ve mostly been listening to “Rock a Bye, Baby.” It’s a pretty good track, if you haven’t heard it.
What if you wailed inconsolably a little longer? That can be a powerful coping strategy for when you don’t immediately get the exact thing you want.
Another really difficult time for me was a few seconds later when my Dada placed his hands in front of his face again. It was especially vulnerable because I felt like I was still healing from the first time.
This new computer program you’re struggling with at work. Have you put it in your mouth? That’s a good way to get used to things.
Before we go any further, I’d like to quickly check in on something. Are you Mama? Or are you a different person?
Look, there’s no easy fix or immediate solution here. All you can do is keep putting one hand in front of the other.
There’s a quote I think about a lot, and it might help you. It’s from the cow, and what the cow says is moo.
Yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately. I just finished this really interesting one about someone who actually says good night to the moon.
I just want to again mention how happy I am to see you returning to the session with me. You sort of turned towards the wall, but then you turned back before I started the inconsolable wailing
It’s okay to be small and fragile sometimes. Or all the time. Constantly.
I’m so sorry to interrupt you, but if I’m not mistaken, there seems to be a truck. It might even be a fire truck.
A skill you may need to develop more is the ability to receive care. It’s actually the only skill I’ve developed, and that’s worked pretty well for me.
It’s okay to be frightened, because the world is frightening. It’s okay to be lost, because the world is mysterious. Much of it you can’t even eat.
Just do your best. And If that doesn’t work, wail inconsolably. That’s all anyone can ask from you.