{"id":823,"date":"2023-01-07T16:00:02","date_gmt":"2023-01-07T16:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/2023\/01\/07\/answers-to-all-of-the-questions-asked-by-the-little-girl-sitting-behind-me-at-last-nights-performance-of-the-marriage-of-figaro\/"},"modified":"2023-01-07T16:00:02","modified_gmt":"2023-01-07T16:00:02","slug":"answers-to-all-of-the-questions-asked-by-the-little-girl-sitting-behind-me-at-last-nights-performance-of-the-marriage-of-figaro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/2023\/01\/07\/answers-to-all-of-the-questions-asked-by-the-little-girl-sitting-behind-me-at-last-nights-performance-of-the-marriage-of-figaro\/","title":{"rendered":"Answers to All of the Questions Asked by the Little Girl Sitting Behind Me at Last Night\u2019s Performance of \u201cThe Marriage of Figaro\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

T<\/span>he man is counting because he is measuring the room for a new bed. He\u2019s singing because this is an opera.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t understand what they\u2019re saying because the words are in Italian.<\/p>\n

The man with the stick is the conductor.<\/p>\n

The shiny necklace is definitely not real diamonds. Where do you think you are, the Met Gala? Look, kid, if you don\u2019t see TV cameras and paparazzi, then you\u2019re probably not going to see jewels on loan from Bulgari.<\/p>\n

OK\u2014technically you didn\u2019t ask this, but no, you\u2019re not supposed to sing along.<\/p>\n

The man in the bow tie and the porkpie hat is arguing with the usher because his assigned seat is all the way at the end of the row, and even though he came in halfway through the second act, he claims that he doesn\u2019t want to disturb everyone in his row by making them stand up so he can shimmy over to his seat. Instead, he wants to discuss in detail which other seat might be available, and when that ultimately doesn\u2019t work out, decide to stand at the back.<\/p>\n

The boy jumped through the window because he wasn\u2019t supposed to be hiding in that room. It was a secret that he was there.<\/p>\n

No, it\u2019s not over. This is just the intermission.<\/p>\n

The lady is crying because she\u2019s sad.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s sad because her husband is relentlessly and unrepentantly cheating on her.<\/p>\n

That woman is sitting on top of the man like that because sometimes, when a man loves a woman, or when a woman loves a man, or when a woman loves a woman\u2026 You know what, never mind.<\/p>\n

Why did your parents bring you here? That is an excellent question, one I\u2019ve been asking myself for the past three hours.<\/p>\n

That woman with the black hair is hugging the man because, even though she has been trying to get him to marry her this whole time, she turned out to be his mom.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not wrong, that is super weird.<\/p>\n

Yes, it\u2019s all done now.<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a>\u00a0<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The man is counting because he is measuring the room for a new bed. He\u2019s singing because this is an opera. You can\u2019t understand what they\u2019re saying because the words are in Italian. The man with the stick is the conductor. The shiny necklace is definitely not real diamonds. Where do you think you are, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":824,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-823","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/kid-theater-1024x512-fVSZoI.jpeg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=823"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/loonregistrar.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}