Big Fish
“Just what every kid recovering from an elbow reconstruction wants: a huge promotional fish from Long John Silvers stopping by with a care package of coloring supplies…
You Can Now Get Mini-Crocs For Your Crocs!
There was a man somewhere who had the world’s smallest feet, but loved the ugly Crocs design so much, that he opened a factory to produce Mini-Crocs….
Sign Of The Times
“This is my Mom circa 1987 in Amish Country PA, which would explain the wooden Amish family statues. But the Love, Sex, and the IRS sign behind…
Pengrim
“Still not sure why my mom wanted to take us for Halloween pics with the Michael Myers of penguins.” (IG @80summercamp) The post Pengrim appeared first on…
Relaxed Marie Kondo Now Says She Perfectly Happy Living In Waist-High Sewage
LOS ANGELES—Admitting that she’d made some major lifestyle changes since developing her famous KonMari method, a relaxed Marie Kondo told reporters Tuesday that she was now perfectly…
U.S. Officials Call For Correct Amount Of Violence
WASHINGTON—Addressing the need for swift and moderate change, U.S. officials reportedly called Tuesday for the correct amount of violence. “Like so many of you, I am outraged…
Pope Francis Declares Nothing Wrong With Guy Giving Buddy Tug Job After Few Drinks
Read more… The Onion
Kamala Harris Asks Communications Assistant If She Can Take Them Out For Coffee And Pick Their Brain Sometime
WASHINGTON—In an effort to expand her professional network, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly asked a White House communications assistant Tuesday if she could take them out for…
As Your Primary Care Doctor, I Will Be Happy to See You in Three Weeks When Your Symptoms Have Passed
Though I’d love to squeeze you in for an appointment, I am no longer seeing sick patients. When you are feeling 1000% better, we’d be happy to…