12-Year-Old Job Applicant Asked To Explain 12-Year Employment Gap On Résumé
LEE’S SUMMIT, MO—Expressing concern over the youngster’s suspiciously sparse work history and total lack of professional references, local factory manager Toby Walters asked a 12-year-old job applicant…
Supreme Court Questions Whether President Legally Allowed To Improve Americans’ Lives
WASHINGTON—Expressing deep skepticism about the constitutionality of such executive actions, members of the Supreme Court’s conservative majority raised questions during oral arguments Tuesday about whether the president…
Note From Shein Worker Hidden In Order States How Much He Loves Doing Sweatshop Labor
DECATUR, GA—Decorated with hearts and smiley faces, a note from a Shein factory worker found Tuesday in local woman Amelia Benson’s order described how much the employee…
So You Moved to Europe and Call Yourself an Expat Now
The Crypto Entrepreneur You go by three aliases, but your friends call you by your Discord name: Loki. While attending Bitcoin conferences, you spend the evening arguing…
FBI Releases List Of 10 Weirdest People Who Are Actually Harmless Once You Get To Know Them
WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that it was important to always stay vigilant but not freak out about them or anything, the FBI released a list Tuesday of the 10 weirdest…
Report: We Can Tell You’ve Been Clicking On Other Websites
CHICAGO—In a comprehensive and damning assessment of where your good-for-nothing ass has been since the last time we saw you, a new report published Tuesday said that…
Zelensky Requests U.S. Tank Autographed By Shaquille O’Neal
KYIV, UKRAINE—Pointing out that every armored vehicles they have received to date lacked signatures of basketball greats, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky requested Tuesday that the United States…
Scientists Discover New Core At Center Of Earth
Researchers have confirmed the existence of a distinct structure inside our planet’s inner core, saying the newly discovered “innermost inner core” is a solid ball of iron…
Bud Selig Admits Taking Steroids Throughout Commissionership
MILWAUKEE, WI—Reflecting on the aspects of his tenure as the top executive of Major League Baseball, Bud Selig on Tuesday reportedly admitted to taking steroids throughout his…