Kids Excitedly Shake Easter Eggs Next To Ear To Find Ones Hiding Ham

BROOKLINE, MA—Letting out joyful screams as they rushed into a neighbor’s yard for the annual hunt, local kids excitedly picked up Easter eggs Sunday, shaking them next…

The Viral Essay Making the Case for Marrying a First Grader (When You’re in Kindergarten)

Liam is ten months older than me, and that’s on purpose. When I was four, I knew I was in my prime. Solidly potty trained, only three…

Ozempic, Prince Andrew, And More: This Week In Breaking News March 30, 2024

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Real Love, Human Wives, And More: This Week In Local News March 30, 2024

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Mr. Beaster Bunny

“We traced our need for therapy back to this early Easter Bunny encounter.” (submitted by IG @@mizliz580 & @ekbrowne8) The post Mr. Beaster Bunny appeared first on…

Sam Bankman-Fried Sentenced To 25 Years In Prison

Crypto mogul and former CEO of FTX Sam Bankman-Fried was sentenced to 25 years in prison for defrauding hundreds of thousands of customers, leaving investors and lenders…

Trump Releases ‘God Bless The USA’ Quran

DEARBORN, MI—In an effort to raise money to cover his mounting legal bills, former President Donald Trump announced at a campaign event Friday that he was selling…

Supreme Court Justices Can Barely Hear Oral Arguments Over Upstairs Neighbor’s Loud Music

WASHINGTON—Straining to make out the plaintiff’s response to their queries as the pounding house beat sent plaster falling from the chamber’s ceiling, the justices of the U.S….

Evan Gershkovich Given Final Warning About Return-To-Office Mandate

NEW YORK—Scolding the journalist for failing to follow the guidelines clearly outlined in its employee handbook, The Wall Street Journal reportedly sent Evan Gershkovich his final warning…

This Week’s Most Viral News: March 29, 2024

Read more… The Onion