SAN RAMON, CA—Observing that it was somehow on him every time to roll over and nudge his owner’s hand with his snout, local canine Peanut reportedly expressed concern Thursday that he was always the one to initiate petting. “I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but just one time when we’re lying together on the couch, I…
The Onion
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Look, I do not know quite how to phrase this but if what I am hearing is accurate, I am honestly left without a choice. Yes, I’m…
