How to Do the Perfect Squat

Performed correctly, a squat is a stellar functional movement which strengthens the glutes, quads, back, and core. Performed incorrectly, a squat will permanently compromise your physicality, doom…

Worst Mascots Ever: Creepy And Funny Fails

Creating a good, crowd-rousing, kid-pleasing mascot that doesn’t look like it crawled out of Satan’s ass is more difficult than it might appear. Some just look too…

Norway To Start Hiding Its Standard Of Living To Make Other Countries Feel Better About Themselves

OSLO, NORWAY—Not wanting reports of the happy, healthy lives of its citizens to demoralize people living outside the Scandinavian nation, Norway announced Monday that it would start…

A New Jay Dawning

Read more… The Onion 

Real American History That The ‘Woke’ Left Doesn’t Want You To Know

It’s no secret that school textbooks don’t cover the whole of American history, and that important facts about this great nation are often omitted to serve a…

Did You Have to Invite Your Foley Artist Friends to Our Dinner Party?

Honey, can I see you in the kitchen? Excuse us, everyone. You know I appreciate your Foley artist friends and their ability to create realistic sound effects…

Funny And Strange People Spotted On The Subway

Ah, subway… The magical place where the laws of normality stop working. The moment you go underground to catch a train, you’d best be prepared to see…

IRS Announces Starting Taxes Good Enough

WASHINGTON—Stating that “something is always better than nothing,” the Internal Revenue Service announced Monday that starting your taxes was good enough. “Just get your name on there,…

Clarence Thomas Announces 50% Discount On All Favorable Rulings

WASHINGTON—Telling Americans that they must act now to avoid losing out on the chance of a lifetime, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas announced at a press conference…

NASA Seeks Volunteers For Simulated Mars Mission

NASA put out an open call for applications to take part in a simulated Mars mission in which a four-person crew will live and work for a…