Sobbing Conservationists Announce Atlantic Halibut On Their Own Now After Falling Out

GLOUCESTER, MA—Struggling to articulate through streams of tears, sobbing conservationists from the National Marine Fisheries Service announced Wednesday that endangered Atlantic halibut were on their own now after the two species had a huge falling out. “We’re really done this time—those demersal assholes are on…

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The Onion 

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