Man Not Sure What More He Must Do To Make Women He Flashes Love Him

NEW YORK—Sighing deeply as he closed his overcoat yet again and kicked in dismay at the scattered alleyway trash, local man Frank Pendrowski told reporters Tuesday he wasn’t sure what more he could possibly do to make women he flashes love him. “For years I’ve put myself out there, exposing my genitals to passersby,…

Read more…

The Onion 

Related Posts

J.D. Vance Vows To Fight For Forgotten Communities In Silicon Valley

SAN FRANCISCO—Pledging to never leave behind the many millionaires and billionaires from the region who helped shape him into the person he is now, vice presidential candidate…

Trump Vows To Unite Nation Against Common Enemy Of Other Americans

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Addressing supporters at his latest rally, former President Donald Trump vowed over the weekend to unite the nation against the common enemy of other Americans….

‘Really, Really, Really Happy For You, Kamala,’ Says Hillary Clinton, Not Letting Go Of Handshake

WASHINGTON—Doing her best to appear elated while a large, throbbing vein protruded from her forehead, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was ‘really, really, really…

My Bat Mitzvah Speech, More or Less Verbatim

In my Torah portion, Vayishlach, Jacob sends messengers to his brother Esau so Esau will visit and they can patch things up. They needed to fix things…

The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Mat Barton

We love the single-panel comic format because of its simplicity. The humor is condensed into one illustration, brief dialogue, and minimalist style. It’s quite a challenge to…

Study Finds 14% Of College Freshmen Contract HPV By End Of Campus Tour

BALTIMORE—Aiming to raise awareness of the sexually transmitted disease, a new study published Tuesday by the University of Maryland School of Medicine revealed that nearly 14% of…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *