Grandmother Spends Entire Day Peeling Single Potato

DANVILLE, KY—Determined to complete the task though her progress was slowed by the root vegetable continually slipping from her arthritic grasp, local grandmother Dolores Wheeler reportedly spent all of Wednesday peeling a single potato. “We really want to help her, but anytime one of us goes in there, she shoos us…

Read more…

The Onion 

Related Posts

J.D. Vance Vows To Fight For Forgotten Communities In Silicon Valley

SAN FRANCISCO—Pledging to never leave behind the many millionaires and billionaires from the region who helped shape him into the person he is now, vice presidential candidate…

Trump Vows To Unite Nation Against Common Enemy Of Other Americans

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Addressing supporters at his latest rally, former President Donald Trump vowed over the weekend to unite the nation against the common enemy of other Americans….

‘Really, Really, Really Happy For You, Kamala,’ Says Hillary Clinton, Not Letting Go Of Handshake

WASHINGTON—Doing her best to appear elated while a large, throbbing vein protruded from her forehead, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was ‘really, really, really…

My Bat Mitzvah Speech, More or Less Verbatim

In my Torah portion, Vayishlach, Jacob sends messengers to his brother Esau so Esau will visit and they can patch things up. They needed to fix things…

The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Mat Barton

We love the single-panel comic format because of its simplicity. The humor is condensed into one illustration, brief dialogue, and minimalist style. It’s quite a challenge to…

Study Finds 14% Of College Freshmen Contract HPV By End Of Campus Tour

BALTIMORE—Aiming to raise awareness of the sexually transmitted disease, a new study published Tuesday by the University of Maryland School of Medicine revealed that nearly 14% of…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *