WASHINGTON—Sighing as he hid another pair of soiled pajamas deep in his hamper, Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) confirmed Friday that on top of everything else that had been going on, he was also wetting the bed again. “Jesus, this is the absolute last thing I need! This has been the worst week of my life,” […]
In today’s competitive world where connections are very valuable and even essential, it’s not easy to be an introvert. Even if you are not socially anxious or very shy, it can be pretty challenging to endure hours of social interaction or even ten minutes of a small talk. Finding a fellow introvert might therefore be […]
Twitter user @anloremi recently posed a challenge to users on the social media platform: complete a T-Rex image to prove that human art cannot always be replaced by artificial intelligence. The results of the challenge were truly impressive, with each submission adding a unique and hilarious twist to the image. While AI may be able […]
Welcome to Microshaft Word 21.0, the most advanced word-processing system in the world. Please begin typing and our content wizard will help you to format your document. Dear Sir: This appears to be a letter. Would you like Microshaft Word to format this document as a letter? Please select an option: YES / NO YES […]
Health experts have raised the alarm about the fast-spreading coronavirus variant XBB1.5, which could drive a new surge of cases. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about covid XBB1.5. Read more… The Onion
Read more… The Onion
BOSTON—Putting his headphones over his ears and taking a deep breath, local man Dalton Griffith was reportedly listening to his pump-up playlist at the gym Friday to get the courage to take off his shirt in the locker room. “I got this,” said Griffith, who turned up the volume on the DMX song from his […]
LOS ANGELES—Saying it seemed like something he was supposed to do given his level of income and public renown, local celebrity Chris Hemsworth was reportedly thinking Friday about getting his pilot’s license. “I was just wondering what I should do now that I have a bunch of money and free time, and it just hit […]
The Vatican has defrocked the American anti-abortion priest Frank Pavone for what it called “blasphemous communications on social media” and “persistent disobedience” after he placed an aborted fetus on an altar and posted a video of it on two social media sites. What do you think? Read more… The Onion
