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Author Archive for Loon Registrar

3D Wolf Underwear: A Bold Fashion Statement

In today’s episode of “yes, apparently this is a thing”, we have wolf boxer briefs, which essentially turn your bulge into the snout of the wolf as it protrudes outward, giving a 3D look to it. We truly live in amazing times, don’t we? Here’s an idea for a slogan for the company that makes […]

How to Tell Your Kids the Truth About Bigfoot

There is nothing more magical than the excitement of a young child unzipping their tent at sunrise and peering into the foggy morning to see if Bigfoot has squashed the berries they scavenged for him and, in return, left an REI gift card, fur clumps, and scat at their campsite. Celebrating Bigfoot is a joy […]

Man Walking Dog Will Be Judge Of What Warrants Sniffing

BOISE, ID—Tugging on the leash with a groan while walking his easily distracted dog, local man Kenneth Granger announced Monday that he would be the judge of what warranted sniffing. “Come on, no, you do not need to smell that fence again,” said a visibly annoyed Granger, noting that he found nothing particularly… Read more… […]

Nation’s Men In Bathroom Stalls Announce Plan To Breathe Really Loudly

CHICAGO—Promising their groans would reverberate throughout the restroom, the nation’s men in public bathroom stalls held a press conference Monday to announce their plan to breathe really loudly. “If you hear heavy mouth-breathing coming from behind this door, rest assured, that is us,” said a red-faced, profusely… Read more… The Onion 

The Funniest Tweets About Cats (Part 2)

If there’s one thing that can make the people of the world come together, it’s funny tweets about cats. It’s the perfect way to start a year. Scroll down to read them all and don’t forget to also check out Part 1! If you enjoyed these cat tweets, also check out Part 1. The post […]

Reasons to Reconsider Your 2023 “Pooping Pooches” Calendar

Your new 2023 calendar can set the tone for your entire year. After all, you’ll see it with each new month, each quick check of the date, and each missed meeting because you put the time on your wall calendar instead of entering it into your calendar app like everyone else. Do you really want […]

Funniest Reactions To Andrew Tate Getting Owned by Greta Thunberg

Former kickboxer Andrew Tate tried to provoke the Swedish climate change activist by bragging about how many internal combustion engine cars he owns as well as asking for her email address so he could send her a “complete list of my car collection and their respective enormous emissions”. Greta Thunberg replied with: “yes, please do […]

The Budget for My Big-Budget Movie

Two A-list celebrities willing to pretend that they’re real-life friends: $40 million Intro animations for 11 different production companies: $650,000 each Physics accuracy consultant with at least one Nobel Prize: $120,000 Boat chase scene where the characters drive vertically up a waterfall: $5.1 million Ping-pong balls: 4 for $7.99 (x50) Auto-stabilizing camera gimbal: $153,000 Authentic, […]