Dear applicant,
We regret to inform you that despite the quality of your application, we will not be offering you a position at this time.
We know how much time and effort you put into your cover letter and resume, and it showed. Actually, it was probably the best application we read. We really regret the fact that we aren’t offering you the job.
We don’t get applicants like you every day. You’re not like all those other people. We should have recognized that when we had the chance. But we didn’t. So we’re writing to let you know we’ve chosen to go a different direction with a different applicant. But we’re also writing to tell you how much we regret what we’ve done.
We can’t change our minds now. What’s done is done. Now all we can do is try to come to terms with our decision. But we can’t shake the sinking feeling that you were something special. We let you walk right out of our office and right out of our lives.
Any place would be lucky to have you. You seem like such an amazing guy. We’re sitting here in the office with our heads in our hands realizing the mistake we’ve made. We’re writing to inform you that we won’t be offering you a permanent position with us at this time, but we don’t know if we’ll ever stop wondering what could’ve been.
In fact, we couldn’t sleep last night. We tossed and turned knowing we let someone like you slip between our fingers. We’re not sure we’ll ever be able to make this right. We can’t believe we decided you aren’t the right person to fill the open role here at the firm. Your past experience was second to none, your passion was palpable and your smile was infectious. If we could go back we’d do everything differently, we wouldn’t lose someone like you without a fight. We’d scream your name from the rooftops, we’d always put you first. We’d wait for you. But we decided to offer the job to someone else. We’ve never regretted informing anyone of anything more.
We were so stupid. It wasn’t until we regretfully informed you that we realized just how amazing of an applicant you were. And yeah, you deserve someone better than us. You deserve someone who already knows all of this, who can recognize how goddamn hard it’ll be to lose you before it’s too late. But life and love and job recruitment are messy and nobody’s perfect, especially not us. We know we don’t deserve you, but if you could find it in your heart to give us another chance, during another recruitment cycle, we promise, we’ll be better this time. We’ll change for you.
We know you probably hate us. We hate ourselves for everything we’ve put you through. You’re too perfect for us. A firm like us could never hire an applicant like you. Look at you! And as much as it hurts to say this: don’t text us, don’t call us, don’t email us. We’re an absolute mess. And you’re… you! It would never work. If you chose to be with us you’d just be bringing yourself down. People would see us together and think, “How did they ever get him?” and we could never live with ourselves knowing we were holding you back. So this is us telling you to run, run far away from here and never look back. Find an employer as incredible as you are and never forget what we’re telling you. You’re irreplaceable. If anyone ever says otherwise, they’re just as stupid as us.
My god, what have we done?
Sincerely,
The Company That Will Never Forget You
