SAN DIEGO—In an attempt to reward the loyal fan for his years of support, PornHub reportedly surprised frequent user Jeffrey Mitchell this week with a wife and loving family after he reached his 10,000th masturbation with the adult platform. “Jeff, we can’t thank you enough for all of the loads you’ve busted to…
The Onion
Cracked Voice Valley Brace Face Bend Peach Fuzz Pass Gangly Grotto Sweaty Pits Creek Body Spray Bay Strictly Cuddles Cliff Not Interested Knoll Clammy Brow Canal Maybe…
You colossally idiotic piece of ice. Did you think you’d never have to face the consequences of your actions? Never have to face the Celine Dion ballad?…
“I once visited my mom’s house with my new baby. Here’s a great photo mom took that day of me, my dad, my brother, my sister, the top…
Do phrases like “until shimmering,” “pan sear,” and “preheat the oven” send a shiver down your spine? Does someone other than you handle the cooking in your…
Priceless cooking tip: googly eyes make everything better (including cutting bell peppers) and the best part is that they cost only few bucks on Amazon. Scroll down…
