‘I Finally Made The Switch From Coffee,’ Says Man Holding Gun To His Head To Get Adrenaline Rush

BALTIMORE—Boasting that he had finally kicked caffeine and found a new way of perking up in the morning, local man Paul Randolph was overheard Wednesday saying “I finally made the switch from coffee” as he held a loaded gun to his head to get an adrenaline rush. “It still gives you a good rush without making you feel…

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The Onion 

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