Bouncer At L.A. Club Checking IMDB Pages At The Door
LOS ANGELES—Operating in accordance with local laws, the bouncer at an L.A. nightclub was reportedly checking Internet Movie Database pages at the door, sources confirmed Friday. “Okay,…
Funny And Painfully Relatable Money Meme Gallery
Inflation, recession, fuel prices… One of the best ways to cope with all this struggle is to find humor in the situation. That’s where this money meme…
NFL Owners Announce Secret Meeting To Make Sure They Aren’t Colluding Against Lamar Jackson
PHOENIX—In an effort to investigate claims that they were conspiring to suppress the market for the Baltimore Ravens quarterback, NFL owners announced Friday that they had held…
We’ve Made a Few Cutbacks to This Season’s Promotional Schedule
As you may be aware, the Sheboygan Sonics have made some cutbacks to this season’s promotional schedule. Despite budget issues, we still have some incredible giveaways to…
Verified Twitter Users React To Losing Their Blue Check
Elon Musk has pledged to remove all verification for accounts that refuse to pay $8 per month for Twitter Blue. The Onion asked verified Twitter users how…
Girlfriend Suspicious Boyfriend Cheating After Finding Another Woman’s Head
ALPHARETTA, GA—Feeling absolutely livid over the blood-stained discovery, 26-year-old Katy Ellis was reportedly suspicious that boyfriend Tyler Veith was cheating on her Friday after finding another woman’s…
Italian Museum Invites Florida Students To See Some Real Porn
FLORENCE, ITALY—After a Tallahassee parent complained that pictures of Michelangelo’s David shown to a sixth-grade art class were “pornographic,” causing a principal to lose her job, officials…