Kamala Harris Wears Sad Little Bat Headband Alone At Desk For Halloween
WASHINGTON—Beaming as she entered the White House with a Walgreens bag full of spooky decorations, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly wore a sad little bat headband Tuesday…
Happy Person Must Either Be Stupid Or Evil
MANDAN, ND—Genuinely at a loss as to how else they could account for the smiling, seemingly contented individual, witnesses reported Tuesday that local happy man Leonard Olson,…
Parents Explain Why ‘Bluey’ Is Too Woke
Bluey, an Australian cartoon about an anthropomorphic blue heeler puppy, has been repeatedly accused of indoctrinating children with a left-wing agenda. The Onion asked parents why they…
Nick Cannon Opens Adoption Agency
SADDLE RIVER, NJ—Smiling at the crowd of journalists and supporters as he posed for photos during the official ribbon-cutting ceremony, Nick Cannon reportedly opened an adoption agency…
The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Brendan Loper
Brendan Loper is a painter turned cartoonist from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. His work can be found in The New Yorker, Playboy, Times of London and others. In his…
Rock Climbers Pinch Hold Mug That’s Nearly Impossible To Use
Using a coffee mug without a proper handle is like taking a walk on the wild side of caffeine consumption. It’s a little bit dangerous, but very…
The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Brendan Loper
Brendan Loper is a painter turned cartoonist from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. His work can be found in The New Yorker, Playboy, Times of London and others. In his…
Brotherhead
“This is of my older sister, perfect in all pictures, and older brother’s gigantically chubby head. The photographer thought this was the best picture of the whole…
The Horror
“According to my mother, my little brother was terrified of the stuffed animal that the photographer was using to attempt to get him to smile.” (submitted by…
Gallstones, Meet The Gallstones
“This is my grandmother posing proudly with her gallstones. She had them removed as a teenager and was told they were the biggest they’d ever seen. I…