Mike Pence Drops Out Of Republican Presidential Campaign
Former U.S. Vice President Mike Pence ended his cash-strapped presidential campaign after struggling for months to convince Republican voters he was the best alternative to the man…
Broncos Go On Winning Streak After Scooter Braun Begins Attending Every Game
DENVER—Crediting the 42-year-old music manager for the team’s remarkable and sudden success, the Denver Broncos were reportedly on a winning streak Monday after Scooter Braun began attending…
Tips For Throwing The Perfect Halloween Party
Americans around the nation are buying costumes, stocking up on candy, renting scary movies, and decorating their homes for spooky Halloween parties. Here are some tips for…
Most Popular Halloween Costumes For Couples
Many couples like to get creative on Halloween and dress up as a famous duo. Here are this year’s most popular Halloween costumes. Read more… The Onion
Are You Starring in a Horror Movie or Sharing a House with Small Children?
You can’t remember the last time you slept. Friends and family members regularly express concern about your haggard appearance. But whenever someone asks you whether you’re all…
Israel Warns Gaza Still Harboring Hundreds Of Doctors
TEL AVIV—Explaining why they had continued airstrikes and launched a ground offensive in the Palestinian enclave, Israeli officials warned Monday that Gaza was still harboring hundreds of…
Man Calls To Inform Previous Sexual Partners He’s Contracted The Curse Of The Pharaoh
WINSTON-SALEM, NC—His worst fears confirmed after an examination of his pubic region revealed a plague of genital locusts, area man Justin Frausto reportedly called several of his…
Mother Defends Choice To Put Credit Card Number Into Website Virus.Crime
CONCORD, NH—Noting that at 73-years-old, she was more than capable of knowing a legitimate online store when she saw one, local mother Linda Jeffries defended her choice…
MLB Announcer Unsure Why He Currently Stating Pitcher’s Birth Weight
PHOENIX—Midway through an anecdote during a break in the action in the World Series, MLB announcer Joe Davis revealed Monday that he was unsure why he was…