U.S. Army Recruiter Has Bound, Gagged Civilian That Teen Can Shoot Right Now If He Enlists
KERRVILLE, TX—Offering an added incentive in the hopes of enticing the young man to sign up for the military, U.S. Army recruiter Henry “Tex” Teevens revealed during…
New Hormone-Free IUD Wards Off Sperm With Steady Emission Of Police-Grade Pepper Spray
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Calling it a breakthrough product for anyone not wishing to become pregnant, medical technology giant Johnson & Johnson announced plans Thursday to bring to market…
Are You a Werewolf, Or Did You Eat Too Much Cheese Last Night?
After what seems like the deepest sleep of your life, the morning sun enters your bedroom and causes you to stir. The night is over. And with…
Musician’s Contract Requires Venue To Provide Validation Artist Never Got
TULSA, OK—Emphasizing that both applause and audible cheering are mandatory, the artist rider in singer-songwriter Kyle Tatum’s contract stipulates that local venue the Vanguard must provide the…
Price Of Ancient Tribal Burial Site Being Used As Golf Course To Be Decided By Jury
An Ohio golf course on the site of 2,000-year-old ceremonial mounds and burial grounds of the Hopewell Earthworks system refused a payment of $2 million for the…
The Funniest Single-Panel Comics by Jeff Stahler
Jeff Stahler is a cartoonist and painter known for his work on editorial cartoons and comic panels. He has a rich background in the field, having served…
Pope Francis Issues Apology For Using Slur For Gay Men
Pope Francis has apologized for using a derogatory term about gay men in a discussion with Italian bishops during which he reaffirmed the Catholic Church’s ban on…
Dialect Coach Hired To Class Up Nation Before Big Date With Wealthy Man
WASHINGTON—As part of a new nationwide etiquette initiative, a dialect coach was reportedly hired Wednesday to class up the American public before its big date with a…
Dermatologists Advise Against Taking Bite Of Facial Cream
ROSEMONT, IL—Saying the product tasted bad despite having an appearance similar to vanilla pudding, the American Academy of Dermatology issued guidelines Wednesday in which it advised against…
Experts Concerned As Tween Girls Get Swept Up In Last Will And Testament Craze
CHICAGO—Blaming platforms like TikTok and YouTube for the fad’s proliferation, experts expressed their concern and bewilderment Wednesday over the last will and testament craze sweeping the nation’s…