Experts Warn Gas Stoves May Slowly Ingratiate Selves In Family To Kill And Take Place Of Matriarch

BETHESDA, MD—Citing new data on the appliance’s hidden hazards, a statement released Wednesday by the Consumer Product Safety Commission warned that gas stoves could be slowly ingratiating themselves into American households in order to kill the family matriarch and take her place. “According to the latest research,…

Read more…

The Onion 

Related Posts

What Your Behavior at a Sit-Down Concert Says About You

The shoulder sway: Live music allows you to reinvent yourself as a free spirit with a carefree attitude. Your chill new persona always feels like it will…

Persecution, Worried Conservatives, And More: This Week In Local News February 24, 2024

Read more… The Onion 

Trump Booed, Frozen Burritos, And More: This Week In Breaking News February 24, 2024

Read more… The Onion 

Satan-Controlled Celebrities, Malia Scorsese, And More: This Week In Entertainment News: February 24, 2024

Read more… The Onion 

Netanyahu’s Plans For The Future Of Gaza

Amid mounting international pressure for the Israel-Hamas war to end, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today detailed his vision for postwar Gaza, though the plans have sparked…

Yale To Begin Requiring Standardized Test Scores Again

After switching to a test-optional policy during the Covid pandemic four years ago, Yale recently reversed its decision to not require standardized testing for admission, stating that…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *