So Who’s the Real Monster in All This?

Dear Lord, look at you people. Holed up in this warehouse for what, five days? How quickly you turned on each other. Really makes you think: who is the real monster here? The tentacled creature lurking in the vapor outside that you hid out from… or were you all the real monster this whole time?

No, Tentaco, as we called the creature down at the military base where we created it, was not the real monster here. Neither were we at the base the real monster for creating Tentaco, as part of experiments we conducted involving otherworldly realms, and tentacles. All we were doing was pushing the boundaries of science to its very limits, with no safeguards in place for what to do if things fell out of our feeble control.

But you all—fighting each other over the last of your food. It begs the question: who’s the real monster in all of this?

Is it the scientist who worked on Project Hubris, hellbent on creating Tentaco, so that he could unleash a massacre on a swath of innocent people? Is he the monster here? Please. Dr. Skullblood is a learned man, devoted to science and a little bit of revenge. I don’t recall walking in on him pummeling his fellow man over a meager amount of food—not even enough to satisfy any hunger, might I add.

The overworked cadet who fell asleep guarding Tentaco’s cage? He’s the monster in all this? The senators who approved Project Hubris, misled into thinking they were funding a top-secret initiative to end homelessness? Or the other scientist on the project, who we shot before he could warn anyone? Sure, they’re all good contenders in my book for who’s the real monster.

But did any of them squabble over a bag of– what is this, food? No, it’s you who’ve shown us who the true monster is. Not the city officials who retreated to a fully stocked bunker. Not the vapor we released that melts your bones. And certainly not Tentaco.

So Tentaco killed the strong, caring guy in your group who everyone looked up to. And Tentaco used its tentacles to reach into a window and suck the brain out of the wise maternal figure you all relied on for calm. And Tentaco used its flame tentacle to set fire to the stash of food you so love and crave. That makes Tentaco a monster?

Well what if I told you that Tentaco wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, but was just trying to find the eggs that we hid from her? That’s right: her. Tentaco is a mother. And you hated her. Now who’s the monster?

You need to look at yourself in the mirror, then look at Tentaco, dripping with mucus, human limbs dangling from her mouths, acid squirting from her face-butt, and ask: “Who’s the real mucus-covered tentacled monster that destroyed all the hospitals and nursing homes? Is it Tentaco… or is it me?”

Did any of you think to help Tentaco find her eggs? No. You just were thinking about yourselves, and your stomachs, and filling them with your precious food. Not once did you even try to go out into the poisonous vapor, and feel around blindly for a sack of viscous, protruding eggs buried in the ground six miles from here. So selfish. This whole thing, come to think of it, really makes me wonder who the real monster is in all this.

And you shot Tentaco! With a gun! You tried to kill her. But as you quickly learned, bullets can’t kill Tentaco. Feeling pain actually makes her grow bigger. No, the only thing that can kill Tentaco? Human food. But you didn’t think to try that, did you? Too busy fighting over the stuff and coveting it. You make me sick.

I’ll admit, this has changed me. But I’m not giving up on humanity. I still believe that people are good, deep down. I believe in the power of redemption, that anyone can redeem themselves by becoming a test subject for Dr. Skullblood’s new experiment, where he will inject acid from Tentaco’s face-butt into your veins. I just hope that, when you mutate and go on a killing spree, it doesn’t somehow turn the people hiding from you into despicable, food-obsessed monsters.

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