Dating nowadays can be tricky. With social norms changing seemingly every five minutes, it can be tough to know how to conduct yourself on a first date. Luckily these tips can help you ace your first date.
Lift Your Shirt Immediately So Your Date Knows You’re Not Wearing a Wire, You Can Be Trusted
First impressions are key, and the most important thing to do is put the other person at ease. That is why lifting your shit and doing a 360 to ensure to the person you do not have a listening device is so crucial. Without this being settled within the first few moments of the date, your date might be nervous they are talking to a rat or that their words and actions could be used in a RICO case against them.
Be Succinct
It is important to be succinct. Don’t be too verbose. Keep things brief. Don’t repeat yourself. Repeating yourself is bad. Repeating yourself is not something you should do. To reiterate, please don’t say the same thing over and over. Saying the same thing over and over is bad and something you shouldn’t do. Be succinct.
In Order To Gain The Upper Hand, Tell Them They Has Something In Their Teeth Even If They Don’t
This is a great way to slightly embarrass the other person and immediately be perceived as a cooler person. Tell them they have something in their teeth and watch them struggle to get it off. This gives you the upper hand immediately and establishes you as someone far above having a piece of food in their teeth.
Make Constant Ear Contact
Eye Contact went out with the Blackberry, it is all about Ear Contact these days. As much as you can get your ear on theirs it will display confidence and comfortability with social situations. Try and maintain Ear Contact for at least seven seconds, otherwise it can feel strange.
You Can Mention Frankie Muniz, But Don’t Harp On It
This feels like an obvious one but it is worth mentioning. While it is typical for Frankie Muniz to be brought up on a first date, it is important not to spend too much time on it. Yes it is weird he has become a race car driver and that rumor he lost all his memory is fascinating, but these topics shouldn’t take up more than 50% of the date.
Tell Them The FBI Considers You “A Person of Interest,” Showing They Have Competition
This will certainly trigger some jealousy. Informing your date the FBI considers you “A Person Of Interest” will display that many people find you interesting, so much so they consistently show up at your door, presumably to check if you are single. This ought to add some intrigue.
Have Alec Baldwin’s Monologue From Glengarry Glenross Memorized so you don’t need to look at your paper while performing it
When that time inevitably comes on every first date to perform this legendary monologue, it helps to have it memorized. It will show you are thoughtful and well-prepared. Nobody likes being told “coffee is for closers” when you aren’t focused on nailing the tone.
Ease Their Nerves by Telling Them You Can Walk Them Home Since You Know Their Address Already
Safety is on everybody’s mind these days. What better way to make your date feel they are safe with you than letting them know you know exactly where they live, so can escort them home without incident? It will show you are adept at research and can keep them safe—a lot of crazies out there these days.
