Out-Of-Office Message from Someone Who Doesn’t Trust Their Team

Hi,

Thanks for your email. I am out of office on my honeymoon for the next two weeks. If there’s anything you need, please email our brand new administrative assistant Craig at craig@mediamedia.com.

Although, Craig is still remarkably new in the role, so if your query needs an immediate answer, please email our Head of Production Amanda at amanda@mediamedia.com.

Although, if I’m honest, Amanda has horrible email etiquette. One time she shared her screen during a meeting and I saw 12,000 unread emails. If you are looking for a faster response, please email Tom our Associate Director at tom@mediamedia.com. Tom is chronically on his phone and will respond quickly.

Although, if I’m candid, Tom is typically left out of high-level conversations so his responses will be quick but lacking the proper context.

Which means if you’re looking for someone who has an understanding of our strategy, please email Marge the Head of Strategy at marge@mediamedia.com. It’s important to note that Marge is someone who has her camera off on all our Zoom meetings. It’s hard to tell how invested Marge is in this company. From her LinkedIn, you will see a pattern of spending only 18 months at each job and we’re on month 16 with the company. If I’m honest, part of Craig’s position (which he just started in) is to prepare for the inevitable quitting of Marge.

Now that I think about it, emailing Craig, the new administrative assistant, would be the best option. The downside is that Craig is new, but the upside is that he’s new. There is a hunger to Craig that we all had when working at this company before the light inside of us slowly dimmed. Craig, with his naivety and inexperience, is still shining bright and strong. Craig is someone who would answer emails after work hours if he had to. He’s your best choice email at craig@mediamedia.com.

At the same time, despite not answering her email, Amanda is our superstar employee. So, I would email Craig but also I would call the office and try to speak to Amanda. If you have Amanda right in front of you, there is no one at the company better. However, it’s getting her attention that’s the problem. If you are emailing about a pressing matter and live nearby, I would just head to our office and try to talk to Amanda face-to-face. I would skip emailing Amanda at amanda@mediamedia.com altogether.

Perhaps you could email Craig (craig@mediamedia.com) and ask him to coordinate with Tom (tom@mediamedia.com) who works closely with Amanda and together they can let you know the best time to drive to the office to try to talk to Amanda. At the same time, even Greg will tell you that Amanda usually isn’t where she needs to be. Tom will undoubtedly mention that Amanda is the only Director with an Associate Director which means she’s brilliant but she needs support. Amanda herself will tell you that, if you’re able to talk to her.

If you need anything urgent, I will be checking my email and will respond within 2-3 business days.

Thanks,

Esteban

One last thought: If you email Marge (marge@mediamedia.com) please CC me. It’s likely she accepted another job offer and is just waiting to tell us.

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