Most Terrifying Ways The Deep State Is Trying To Destroy Donald Trump
It’s never been more clear that the shadowy cabal of billionaires that secretly controls the world wants to permanently silence the best president our country has ever…
Polish Man That Landlord Sent Over Smashes Hammer Through Wall, Leaves
CHICAGO—Noting that he spoke little English and had no interest in helping whatsoever, sources confirmed Wednesday that the Polish man their landlord had sent over simply smashed…
Sasha Obama Accused Of Nepotism After Getting Elected President Of Armenia
YEREVAN, ARMENIA—Facing a mountain of backlash following her electoral victory, former first daughter Sasha Obama was accused of nepotism Tuesday after reportedly winning the Armenian presidency. “She…
Litter-Robot Recalls Thousands Of Self-Cleaning Litter Boxes That Accidentally Transported Cats To Year 1300
AUBURN HILLS, MI—Attributing the defect to a manufacturing error, pet care company Whisker issued a recall Wednesday on thousands of self-cleaning Litter-Robots that had accidentally transported customers’…
Woman Passed Out In Hot Yoga Class Must Have Achieved Nirvana
LAWRENCE, KS—Marveling at their cataleptic classmate as she lay in the middle of the 105-degree room, local yogis speculated Wednesday as to whether a passed-out woman in…
Sweden To Join NATO
Hungary’s parliament voted 188 to 6 in favor of allowing Sweden to join NATO, the final hurdle standing in the way of the Scandinavian country becoming the…
Omaha Mayor Admits City Doesn’t Have Community Spirit To Withstand Terrorist Attack
OMAHA, NE—In a candid plea addressed to the entire global community, Omaha Mayor Jean Stothert gave an impassioned speech Tuesday in which she announced that her city…
NASA Releases Video Of Odysseus Moon Lander Crashing Through Ceiling Of Female Alien Locker Room
WASHINGTON—Touting the Intuitive Machines moon mission as a success despite some difficulty landing, NASA released a video Wednesday that showed the Odysseus spacecraft crashing through the ceiling…