Moaning Red Carpet Has Distinct Quentin Tarantino-Shaped Lump Underneath

LOS ANGELES—Groaning with pleasure as Hollywood’s biggest stars entered the Dolby Theater, celebrity sources confirmed Sunday that the moaning red carpet had a distinct Quentin Tarantino-shaped lump underneath. “Yes, yes, harder, step harder,” said the quivering mound in the outline of the famed director, which was…

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The Onion 

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