Woman At Suburban Bar Different Kind Of Drunk

ELMHURST, IL—Mesmerized by the distinct aura of the suburban bar patron, sources reported Tuesday that local woman Katrina Wollack, 53, was a different kind of drunk. “It’s a sadder kind of drunk, but also sloppier—she’s much louder too,” said one of the sources, who confirmed they were unable to take their eyes off…

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The Onion 

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