Finance Whiz Has Over $300 In Bank Account

JANESVILLE, WI—A monetary wunderkind who has amassed a level of wealth the average American can only dream of, local finance whiz Jason Reed has over $300 in his bank account, sources confirmed Monday. “That’s not just $300 on paper—that’s 300 bucks, free and clear, in a checking account at Chase,” said a person close…

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The Onion 

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