$5 Umbrella Doing The Best It Can, All Right?

NEW YORK—Shaking violently under the barrage of an afternoon downpour, a $5 umbrella purchased at 49th Deli Grocery confirmed Thursday that it was doing the best it could, all right? “Look, I’m sorry—I wish I were made out of more durable material, too, but I’m trying here, okay?” said the visibly rattled umbrella,…

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The Onion 

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