Did I Tell You I Take Cold Showers Now?

You’re remodeling your kitchen? Interesting. Did I tell you I take cold showers now? After hearing about the health benefits on several podcasts I had to give it a try. And let me tell you, there’s nothing more invigorating or healthier than a nice cold shower.

You’re thinking about cutting refined sugar from your diet? Nice. I uninstalled my hot water heater. My morning shower is an insufferable affair that requires a properly fitted mouthguard to keep my teeth from rattling together. While I’m getting pulverized by the brutally cold water, I often have one of those out-of-body experiences where I see myself from above, hunched over and trembling, lathering up with body wash that has turned the consistency of slush. My god, are my mornings agonizing! But it’s all worth it. The ice shards in the body wash act as an exfoliant and all day long my skin radiates.

Even in the evening, when my body begins to finally thaw out and the tingling sensation in my toes fades, my lips are still a cool shade of blue. Such a refreshing way to start the day!

And your sister is having a baby. That’s great. There’s a group of us that meet up on the weekends. We follow the teachings of Wil Hof. The Iceman. Inventor of the Wim Hof Method®. He wrote a book called, “How to Activate Your Full Human Potential.”

No, it’s not a cult. Mostly the group meets to practice the three pillars of the Wim Hof Method®: Breathing, Cold Therapy, Commitment. Typically, this involves cutting a hole in the ice over Lake Michigan. With the layer of white snow on the ice contrasting with the dark gaping hole, the lake water resembles an abyss. And when you jump in and the cold water overwhelms your pain receptors and your body lurches into survival mode it is so excruciatingly therapeutic that I can’t believe I used to spend my weekends relaxing in front of a fire, drinking tea, and reading.

Warmth is now completely absent from my life. Did you know cold showers increase blood flow and bolster your immunity? I haven’t been sick in months and the only time I’ve been to the hospital is for several bouts of hypothermia. Which has, let me tell you, done wonders for my mental health. I don’t know if I ever told you, but I’ve had a history of erratic behavior. Not anymore. Cold showers have given me a whole new lease on life. Since I’ve been freezing to death, I’ve never felt more alive.

Speaking of alive, we’re down a member. Last weekend we lost Pete, the yoga instructor. Pete forgot to tether himself and when he dove in the entry hole he never popped out the exit hole. In our group we don’t say he died, we say he failed the Commitment pillar. Although all things considered, it’s not the worst way to go. I can only imagine submerged down there in icy water, trapped underneath the ice, running out of breath, his immune system was fortified to such an extent that in his last few moments of life, no disease on earth could have harmed him.

Anyway, like I said, we’re down a member. What are you doing next weekend? You should join us.

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