Nation Shrugs After Hearing Trump Guilty Verdict, Unpauses ‘MILF Manor’
NEW YORK—In the wake of the landmark trial that made him the first person to both serve as president of the United States and be convicted of…
Trump Boys Attempt To Bribe Juror With Briefcase Full Of Grape Uncrustables
NEW YORK—Cornering the man in a darkened parking garage as he walked toward his car, the Trump boys reportedly attempted to bribe a juror deciding their father’s…
World Series Of Poker Entrants Play One Hand Face-Up So Everyone Can Learn Rules
LAS VEGAS—Promising to take the first few rounds really slow for anybody who still needed to get their bearings, entrants in the World Series of Poker reportedly…
Samuel Alito: ‘I Tried To Take The Flag Down, But My Wife Hit Me. She Hits Me Every Night’
WASHINGTON—Casting blame on his wife for the controversial flag that flew outside his home, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito told reporters Thursday that he tried to take…
Louisiana Law Criminalizes Approaching Police Officers
A new Louisiana law will criminalize going within 25 feet of any police officer “engaged in law enforcement duties” if an order is issued to stand back,…
