Instructor: Alex “Axe-Man” Rodriguez
Instructor Qualifications: Head Scavenger of SoCal Survivors, B.S. in Biology, Minor in Psychology, grew up on a farm, zombie kill count: 98
Office Hours: By appointment only, instructor often scavenges the Wastes during daylight hours
Class/Office Location: bunker on South Campus
Bunker Stats: 6-inch-thick steel door and walls, 100-person capacity, adequate ventilation, water storage facility, electric lights maintained by daisy-chained batteries
In this course, students will learn techniques and skills required for surviving the End of Days that came about as a result of the recent ZOMBE-23 pandemic. The basics of hunting for game, plant identification and cultivation, cooking, water purification, first aid, physical fitness, strategy, social skills, and ranged and melee combat will be covered. At the end of this 2-week intensive, students should be able to handle surviving in the wilderness alone for 1 week or more and be able to take on or evade a small horde of zombies with confidence. All students that survive the Final can expect to leave class with increased survival skills, a seed potato in a tin can, a basic First Aid kit, and a bow of their own creation.
This class is a 2-week intensive. Classes will run every day for 14 days from sunset to whenever the instructor says you’re done. Class starts at sunset sharp – if you are not present for the opening of the bunker, you will be locked out for the night. Missed material cannot be made up. Knocking and screaming at the bunker door will be ignored. Each class will begin with a lecture that will segway into an application of skills. Pop quizzes may occur at the instructor’s discretion. The Midterm will occur at the end of Week 1. The Final will occur at the end of Week 2.
Students are permitted to sleep in the bunker after class; pillows, blankets, and beds will not be provided. Students must leave the bunker at dawn.
Required Texts: Anything that will burn. This is a night class and the bunker gets cold.
Course Materials (provided):
Sewing needle, thread, bandages made from old shirts
Fire, cooking pot
One battered copy of Plants of North America
One battered copy of How to Make Friends and Influence People
Wood, string, wire, scrap sheet metal (for bow and snare creation units)
Course Materials (required):
Alcohol & 10 pounds of food (as payment for instructor)
Hunting knife, 6-inch or similar
Axe (scavenged or homemade is fine)
Tin can (Campbell’s soup or larger)
Course Materials (optional):
Shotgun and shotgun shells (for personal defense and ease of hunting and horde control)
Day 1: Introductions
Expect: An ice breaker activity, inspection of your person and materials, collection of payment, sharing lived apocalyptic experiences, basics of zombie identification/avoidance/tracking
Day 2: Plants and You
Expect: Planting your seed potato and care instructions, basics of wild plant identification and crop cultivation, working on your people skills
Day 3: Bow Construction
Expect: Constructing your bow, how to maintain and use your new weapon
Day 4: Trapping and Target Practice
Expect: FIELD TRIP! Making and setting snares, wild plant gathering, and target practice with your new bow
Day 5: Cooking
Expect: Basics of fire starting and boiling water for purification, cleaning and cooking of game and wild plants – you can eat the meal you make today!
Day 6: Combat & Fitness
Expect: Basics of self-defense with knife, axe, and bow, cardio, yoga
Day 7: Review of Skills
Expect: Prep for Midterm
Day 8: Midterm
Expect: To be left in the Wastes for 24 hours to fend for yourself
Day 9: Strategy & You
Expect: Review of Midterm with survivors, discussion about resource management and how to handle large hordes and interactions with other survivors
Day 10: First Aid & Biology
Expect: Putting together your own basic First Aid kit, practice wound care, basics of human & zombie biology
Day 11: Killing a Zombie
Expect: FIELD TRIP! Tracking and safely dispatching a zombie under instructor supervision
Day 12: Teamwork
Expect: Learn how to work with difficult people and how to best leverage your skills to complete tasks in a small group
Day 13: Review of Skills
Expect: Prep for Final
Day 14: Final
Expect: To be left in the Wastes for 3 days to fend for yourself*
*Survivors that return to the bunker after 3 days will receive a packet of deer jerky from their instructor. Top students may be accepted into the SoCal Survivors group. Acceptance is not guaranteed. “Problematic” returning students will be shot.
Behavior Policy & Burial Waiver:
Students are expected to be respectful of and nonviolent towards their instructor and other students while taking this course. The instructor reserves the right to kick out or kill students at any time if they prove to be incompetent or a danger to the class. Dead students may be eaten. By entering the bunker on Day 1 you agree to this Behavior Policy and waive your right to a proper burial.
The SoCal Survivors’ Education and Recruitment Team wishes all students the best of luck!